Just another day in paradise? I think not. My life is a crazy train and I feel like it might derail at any moment. I'm a giant nerve, tender to the touch.
I currently work two jobs. Since my husband is on long term disability at 60% of what his salary was when he was working, I have to make up for the lost wages, not to mention that we have just started our two boys back in daycare at $975 a month. So being the tough be-atch that I am, I have taken on this challenge of being super mom, wife and workaholic.
During the days I work as a purchasing assistant and all around peon, at a high frequency trading company(investing money using computer systems to trade in milliseconds). The company does very well and is sure to pass the rewards on to it's employees. I receive great benefits and outrageous bonuses. Other than the job being absolutely mind numbing, it's great.
Three to four nights a week, I work as a Server/Bartender at a steak house. I first started working there after I spent a month and a half putting out resumes and only getting one interview (which obviously didn't pan out). I was working at the restaurant full time and making really good money, but as summer time approached business dwindled and money was cut in half. I immediately started putting resumes out again. This time I got phone call the 1st week which led to the above mentioned day job.
The little time I spend at home, I try to catch up on quality time with the family while also trying to calm my nerves and relax. With two kids climbing all over you the later is virtually impossible. On the weekends I spend Saturday being pretty lazy. Saturday is my reset day, a time to recharge my energy. Sundays are dedicated to getting things ready for the upcoming week and usually spending time with the extended family.
So working my arss off and having absolutely no time for myself, the very last thing I want to do is have to deal with my husband's PMS or Piss Me off Syndrome. If you read yesterdays post, I told you about the slight tiff over discipline of our 20 month old. Well, apparently this is going into a cycle off pissyness. Yeah me!!!
After working all day, then going to the 2nd job only to make $21 and have to do ten times the work because they were fumigating, I end up in a fight with the hubby. What is going on? Two days in a row. This is not like us.
Everything was fine the whole day yesterday. The spat, which was really just a difference of opinion, the evening before was not mentioned again. I texted him at the end of the night to let him know I was going to be late because of the extra work and I had also volunteered to take a friend home, 5 minutes away from work in the opposite direction of home. This friend does not live in the best neighborhood and my husband knows that.
All of a sudden I am an ingrate who doesn't care about his feelings and do as I please no matter how he feels. What!? When I ask him why this is a big deal when he knows I have driven my friend here before and was never reprimanded, he says that we have talked about it before (don't recall what I think was a conversation with himself that was never voiced to me) and I never listen to half of what he says anyway.
Um...I work all the time. I don't have any friends that I go out with. I am always home when I'm not "making that money" and I don't allow myself to do anything I "want" to do, so I don't know what he's talking about. On the other hand, I let him retreat to his hideaway when he needs to rest, never raise a disapproving eyebrow when he wants to play poker with friends and takes money from our very tight budget to do so, and support him in just about any endeavor.
Our fight did not get far as it was midnight and I had to be up at 5:30 am to get myself and two little ones ready to go. He sent me to bed and said we would talk the next day. Usually I would not be able to sleep for hours, but having worked all day I was pretty exhausted.
So, it's the next day. I have not gotten a single text from him nor have a sent him any. I don't want to piss him off, but more importantly, I am not going to be the one to hang my head and start kissing ass to make it all go away. I have little tolerance for unnecessary bull shit. So to my husband I say, "Choose your battles and your words very wisely my dear! You really don't want to go there with me!".
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