Family Drama Queens

Family....Can't live with them, and they won't let you live without them. 

It is no secret to the people who know me, that I have not led a charmed life.  I grew up poor, with an alcoholic father and a mother who took off when I was five and left me to take care of said alcoholic father.  Thankfully, as much of a failure as he was at many aspects in his own life, he was a great dad.  He taught me how to survive and thrive in this world even if he couldn't do the same.  "Shit happens" was his favorite saying and I needed to learn that and did learn that at a very young age.  I learned how to get through the tough times and come back stronger than ever.

Maybe this is why I piss off people who have not been taught the reality of life.  The people that think bad things couldn't and shouldn't happen to them, and don't know how to deal when it does.  The funny thing is, as much as these people don't want to deal with bad things in there life, they tend to go out of their way to create chaos.  I have no sympathy for them and that's all they really want when they are crying about this, that and everything.

If this was a friend or acquaintance I would merely not talk to them anymore.  But what do you do when it's your family...by marriage?  I've already limited my interaction with my own family and now I realize that my husband's family is no bed of roses either.  Drama Queens run rampant in his family.  Mainly his mother and his little sister.  Two peas in a pod those two are.

So how do you deal with folks that are not only Drama Queens, but insist on creating situations in which you are supposed to feel sorry for them or turn situations around to make you look like the bad guy when you said what they didn't want to hear?  I am an extremely sympathetic person to people who have found themselves in less than ideal situations.  I am there to listen and to advise if they so ask for those things.  But when you are the cause of your own misery and you want me to listen and then give you advise....you are barking up the wrong tree crazy person! 

I will be nice, I will even listen and then, all you're going to get is what you don't want to here...THE TRUTH.  If you don't want to here the truth then don't talk to me.  I'm not here to help you carry on this fantasy you have made up in your head, where you're the victim and everyone should feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately, when the Drama Queens are family, and worse, family by marriage, things get a tad more frustrating and bunch more sticky.  And no matter how much you want to be left alone, they are not going to let it go until you move out of state (which is what I did with my family) or you concede that they are right.  And that's sure not happening in my house.

So, any and all Drama Queens be warned....You will not get sympathy, consoling or even an agreeing head nod!  Do not come to me with your BS because you will only get the TRUTH and the truth ain't pretty!

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

 

I am 35 years old, married, mother of two and I'm still wondering what I want to be when I grow up.  I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem.  For most people who can't or don't go to college immediately after high school,  get thrown into the working world and squeeze ourselves in any where we can fit and make a living.  And while we may not love the job, we may be content or lazy enough to stick with it.  Until one day we wake up and realize that we are wasting our life.  We had dreams.  We had goals....What happened?

For me, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I was 18.  When I graduated I enrolled in college and I was going to be a writer.  Then life intervened and college was put off a year.   I moved to another state and enrolled in West Virginia University.  Spent one semester there, got accepted to their school of journalism and then no more money.

Two years later I moved to Maryland and enrolled in the local county college.  Still set on being a writer, I signed up for a creative writing class, among other things.  The teacher was such a pompous ass as was my previous professor at WVU and I realized I couldn't make it through this major if I had to deal with these types of people.

I changed my major to photography which I loved.  Unfortunately it was probably the most expensive major I could have chosen, and I wasn't great at it...made A's but I new I didn't have the talent to make a career out of it.

So onto my final interest, Psychology.  I had always been curious as to how the human mind worked and why people in this world were so dysfunctional.  Dysfunction seemed to be all I lived with for so many years of my life and I believe I am very in tune with peoples emotions.  I find myself really wanting to help people see that they have different avenues in life and that they can triumph over the mental scarring caused by life.

I've got a number of credits under my belt, although some are unrelated to a Psychology degree, and I am planning on going back to school next year (after 10 years). I know that I want to eventually get my Doctorate which will tack on to the time I spend in school, and going part-time won't help my time line either.  I had considered changing majors again and getting a degree in business administration which is what I do now, but it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I torn between living my dream and doing the safe thing for my family.

So, I am going with my heart and living my dream, because in the end...it will be better for everyone. I will be happy and fulfilled, and when Momma is happy, everyone is happy...right?