Monday, September 20, 2010

Life is Exhausting!

So I work two jobs, have two great little boys, and a wonderful husband.  All in all, I'm am very happy, but so exhausted.  I know I have no one to blame for this, it's just the way it has to be right now and I can except that, but I sure can't wait till it's a little more relaxing in my life.

After Abel got sick last summer and we had to cancel the build of our home, I decided that we needed to totally rethink our plans.  I mean total overhaul. We were moving to Austin no matter what, but what were we going to do when we got there?  Originally we were going to be in a new home with a mortgage and property taxes and go back to working the old same jobs we were in Houston, or at least we hoped we could get the same jobs. When the wrench of Guianne Barre was thrown in, we new things would need to be tweaked a bit. I thought long and hard about it and decided on something that would be rough, but in the end would be best for our family.

My husband had been in the Air-force and although he was discharged too early to take advantage of the G.I. Bill, since he was a Texas resident he found out  he qualified for the Hazelwood Act. This also pays for all tuition.  So, I told my husband, "This is the new plan. I am going to work two jobs while you're on disability and you are going back to school. Figure out what you want to do because this is the most convenient time to get it done. By the time you can work again you will have your Associates degree." He thought it was a pretty good idea although he didn't like the thought of me having to work two jobs.  I explained to him that regardless if he went to school or not, The money we have lost from his paycheck had to be made up for somewhere. This was our only option.

So now I work 7:30am to 4:30pm as a purchasing assistant in downtown Austin and 6pm to 11pm at a restaurant 3 to 4 nights a week. Thankfully, my husband is a trooper and deals with a great deal of pain while also dealing with the kids except for the three days a week he goes to school. Sometimes sitting in class for 4 hours at a time can cause him pain for the entire next day, but he gets through it. Hopefully the pain will be gone one day.

We are both exhausted only one year into the the new plan and have at least another year to go. We try to focus on the kids as much as we can in our limited spare time so that this period of time is not as crazy for them as it is for us. I think they are doing well, but they are noticeably clingy when I am home for the evening and weekends. Nicholas, the oldest, always asks why I have three jobs. I guess it feels like three to him. It definitely feels like three to me.

My husband sometimes feels like he has put me in this situation and others might think he is being selfish. For anyone who might think that this situation is unfair to me I want you to know that this whole thing was my idea. He still can't work which I think people forget sometimes. We had to do something drastic to change our lives for the better and if I have to sacrifice my time and energy for a little while that's OK.  It also makes our bond as husband and wife stronger.  In the end we are going to have a better life for ourselves and our boys because of it.

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