What About Me!

I feel as though I am working too much and not reaping the benefits.  My kids started a, not so cheap, preschool last month and my husband is enjoying his time at school and I am just trying to stay awake through it all.  As noble a thing as I am doing, I can't help the resentment that creeps over me every now and then. I sometimes think it will never be my turn.

While I am a seemingly very patient person on the out side, I feel like I am bursting at the seams on the inside.  I want everything to go faster.  I want my husband to be done with school and be well enough to start working again.  I want to start taking classes so I'm not stuck being an office lackey for a bunch of spoiled "geniuses" or having to wait tables and deal with a whole other group of infuriating people. I've been serving others for way too long and now that I have the guts to tell people "No" and do things for myself, there is just no room to squeeze myself in to the daily grind.

And as I voice my grievances here, I immediately feel selfish and guilty for even having these thoughts.  My time will come.  I am a very rational person and I know that this is temporary, but I still want to scream, "WHAT ABOUT ME!!"

I went to college for a while, but haven't finished yet. I let silly thing get in the way of my motivation and this is the price I must pay now.  You live and you learn. The next time I get the chance, watch out world...nothing will stop me!